Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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