THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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