Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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