Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress