Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.