Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid