If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He? As in you personified your dick?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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