are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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