Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
