So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
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The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
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She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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