Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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