he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
soo... how was my night?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
