It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
