I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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