If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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