You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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