My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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