Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
