It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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