Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
