Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
