We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
