My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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