I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
