mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
