Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
