so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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