We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
