How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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