Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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