the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
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We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style