your room smells of hookers.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND