I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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