im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.