from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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