Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
