Im at strip club and am horny
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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