It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
They are going to name an STD after you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize