Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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