just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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