whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
