If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
