I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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