Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
