woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
