I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
