My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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