Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
