so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
