Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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