You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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