Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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