I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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