Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you had me at cake vodka
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
