So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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