its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I got inside last night via doggy door
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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