She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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