You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
