No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
